He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize