are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
