thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
