Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
