I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
are you so shy because you have an std?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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