Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
