just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
