Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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