I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
