her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
