How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
