sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just threw up on my dentist
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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