just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
