She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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