so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
