But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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