I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
