this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
