If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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