where am i from again
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
