i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
where am i from again
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Randomize
