Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
