do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
