this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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