When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
