what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
