I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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