Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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