The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
