About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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