So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
