I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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