So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize