Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
