He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
