And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize