i don't like sucking hair
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
