She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
