sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
