It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
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