some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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