Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
