but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
i need some magic done to my vagina
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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