..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
