I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
