The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
