Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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