you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
