I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
