in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
it's great music for shaving your balls
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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