im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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