my soul wont recognize me after tonight
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
