The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
