check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
