I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
