He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
