I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
