What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
