All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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