it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
no you cant smoke seaweed
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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