Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
