Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
