Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
