I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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