Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
