who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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