if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
