No more Irish car bombs ever.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize