I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
