Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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