I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I believe in your delicious
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
