But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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